The Role of Godly Grandparents

I don't remember much about my grandmothers.  Both of my biological grandmothers died before I was born, my dad’s father died when I was 5 or 6, so I only knew one grandparent, my mom’s dad, and I always missed not knowing or having a relationship with my other grandparents. When I married and had children of my own, allowing my children to develop a relationship with their grandparents became very important to me. We moved a lot over the years due to Ricardo’s job and it wasn’t always convenient to visit with the grands. We tried to visit or have them visit us as often as we could, so my children could know and develop a relationship with them. But I really didn’t understand the importance of having grandparents in my children’s life until I became a grandmother myself.

Grandparents, real ones or adopted ones, can have a tremendous mentoring role in the lives of their grandchildren.

 "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life" (Proverbs 16:31).

 The wisdom of life’s experiences is a treasure that should be honored and valued and passed from one generation to the next.  Grandparents can be key in teaching their grandchildren about life and all its pitfalls and joys, because they’ve been there and experienced it.

 "Let each generation tell its children of Your mighty acts" (Psalm 145:4)

 In the first letter of Peter, he calls all believers "living stones:"

 As you come to him, the living Stone…you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ…a chosen people, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (I Peter 2:5,9).

 Peter’s reference to living stones, closely resembles the "standing stones" found in the ancient history of God’s people. It is an expression that every Jew understood, but in this day and age, the expression has lost its meaning. During the history of God’s chosen people, when God led them through a difficult trial, war or time, they placed a large stone as testimony to what God had done. These stones were not just large rocks, they were massive pillars, standing 15 to 20 feet tall (some have been found in archaeological digs to support this). Every time a Jew passed by a certain rock, that rock told a story of something God had done for His people. One example is in the story of Jericho in Joshua 4:9, 20-24. Another remembrance set up to remind the Israelites what God had done can be found in Joshua 22: 10–31.

As our society becomes more and more mobile and fragmented by divorce, grandparents can become like those “standing stones” of old by telling their grandchildren what God has done for them in their own lives, thereby becoming the "living stones." We can tell about those times and places of old where God did something wonderful for His people, where we learned a great spiritual lesson or truth, how God helped us through some trial in our life or just even tell them “The Greatest Story Ever Told”.  In this way, like in the history of Israel, a spiritual heritage and understanding of who God is, is passed from one generation to the next. It teaches the children that while the world changes, what God does, and what God says, does not change. He is the same "yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). This is the kind of heritage I want to leave my children and grandchildren.

As grandparents we’ve done our parenting. We did our best, made our mistakes and now watch as our children raise their own families. In today's age, like any other, there are serious difficulties in raising a godly family. We, as grandparents, have become the sideline encourager and advice giver to our children. Parenting isn't an easy job, and sometimes a "You're doing a great job" or "You handled that very well" and even a “this too will pass”, can do more to encourage a weary parent to keep carrying on, rather than a criticism of what isn't going quite right. Our encouragement can help them realize they are not failing and they are going through the same trials and experiences all parents have through the generations.

We have a unique position in the lives of our grandchildren. We are the loving/emotional family attachment without being the disciplinarians or day to day caregivers.  If we’ve developed a close relationship with our grandchild, they should feel like they can come and talk to us about things they may not want to go to their parents about.  We can listen and provide them with encouragement and godly advice that may help them through a tough time or even help them to see why they need to obey their parents.

The most essential thing we can do for them is to pray. A concerned grandparent will pray for both their children and grandchildren. They need to know we are aware of what is going on in their lives. They need to know we care about it, and we will take it before the throne of God and leave it there. The knowledge that grandparents pray for the parents and the grandchildren is a tremendous blessing. “Pray continually” (I The 5:17 NIV) for our family is something we need to strive to do daily, not just when a crisis arises.

True Christianity flies in the face of the values of the world. Seeking to raise children that value what God does is one of the greatest challenges of our time. In a world that no longer sees anything as absolute and believes that morals are according to "what is right in each person's eyes," grandparents need to let their grandchildren know that some struggles are common throughout each age.

           

We need to communicate that the commands in God’s Word applied to them "back then" and also applies now. Things like peer pressure, self-esteem, rebellion, sexual pressures, temptations, lust and greed are the things that have embattled the human nature since time began. A grandparent who understands this can council and encourage both the parents and grandchildren to continue basing decisions on God’s Word and not worldly views (which seems to change with each generation).

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

This scripture is just as true today as it was then. It’s not just for parents, but for us as grandparents as well.  Let’s be “a living stone” to our grandchildren.

Note: I realize that there are grandparents raising their grandchildren and are fulfilling the parental role in their lives. If I’ve offended you in any way with this article, please know it was not intentional. Your situation is unique and you are fulfilling double duty in your grandchildren’s lives.  You deserve double honor for doing so. You are still a “living stone” in their lives.

Fretting

Recently I’ve been reading the Psalms as my daily devotion. I find great wisdom and comfort in them. I’ve read the book of Psalms several times and it never ceases to amaze me that I always find something there that I never saw before. Take for instance Psalms 37:1-8:

Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity.
For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.  

Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Don’t fret--it only causes harm.

Sometimes I let things upset me more than they should. The on-going events surrounding gay marriage, the daily assault on Christianity, ISIS and the direction our nation is headed has really distressed me. I’ve been fretting a lot. Fret means to cause to suffer emotional strain, to eat or gnaw into, corrode. David is telling me that I should not fret what evil men do. I know I shouldn’t let it “eat me up” (v.1,7 & 8). I need to trust in the Lord (v.3 & 6), delight myself in the Lord (v.4), commit my ways to Him (v.5), and rest in the Lord (v.7). Why should I do this? Because fretting only causes harm (v.8). To whom? Myself. It not only erodes away my health it can also eat away at my spiritual life by causing me to become disheartened. Paul told the Galatians in Gal. 6:9:

 …let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart

 He told the Thessalonians in II Thess 3:13:

…brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.

Yes the world is full of evil and will continue to be until Christ returns. Should I not be concerned? Yes, I should be concerned, but I shouldn’t fret about it. God is still in charge.

God reigns over the nations; God sits on His holy throne. - Psalms 47:8

What can I do about it? I can place my trust in the Lord knowing that He will make things right and all will be accomplished according to His will. (Psalm 37:5). I should pray for my government that they will make right decisions (I Tim 2:1&2). I must realize that this government is here because God put it here to carry out His purpose (Rom 13:1-7). I can use my rights as an American citizen to let my congressman and senators know how I feel about such issues. I can exercise my right to vote when issues are placed on the ballot and I can vote for candidates that I think have a moral view on these issues. But even if all this should come to pass, I still should not fret about it. I need to leave it in God’s hands and to his judgment. In His time he will take care of such evil doers.

  Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the wicked; for there will be no prospect for the evil man; the lamp of the wicked will be put out. - Proverbs 24:19-20

And besides all that, this world is not our home, we are just passing through. So let’s stop fretting about things we have no control over.

Are you a Peter and John?

It seems like you can’t turn on the news or read something on the internet (I would say read a newspaper, but who does that anymore?) without seeing Christianity being defamed, the Bible called irrelevant (even by those who profess to be Christians), subjected to harsh criticism or outright called hate speech.  There are groups who glory in their sins, that have attacked Christianity like never before in this country.  We are even being threatened by those of another religion, who want to either convert us to their warped way of thinking or kill us if we don’t.  It’s a scary world out there my friends, but is it really any different than what we read about in the New Testament? Those Christians were being persecuted in ways we can’t even imagine.  I pray to God we never see the things that a currently going on in the Middle East happen here in our country, but make no mistake about it, we are being attacked for our beliefs and it will get worse. 

What are you going to do about it?  Are you going to sit idly by and not do anything to profess Christ and His word to the world (pointing fingers at myself)? Are you going to just be silent and let people go on defaming Christ and prohibiting you from proclaiming your faith?  When challenged will you make excuses for what the Bible teaches? What did those of the first century church do when faced with persecution and challenges to their faith? 

I think a great example would be Peter and John in Acts 4 and all the apostles in Acts 5. Chapter 4 records the story of Peter and John being brought before the Sanhedrin to give account of why they were preaching and doing miracles in the name of Jesus.  When challenged, Peter proclaims:

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved – v.12.

Even standing before the rulers of the Jews, Peter proclaimed Jesus without reservation. He knew what they could do to him, but yet he stood firm in his faith.  Even after they were commanded by the Sanhedrin not to speak or preach anymore in the name of Jesus, Peter and John replied:

Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we’ve seen and heard. – v.19

In other words, they would not be silent about Jesus.  Did this mean just proclaiming Jesus as savior?  I don’t believe that was only what they were saying, but they were also saying that they were going to preach the whole counsel of God, how could they not?  They were filled with the Holy Spirit and He was guiding them.

We see in chapter 5, a similar encounter, but this time it was all the apostles that were being arrested and thrown into the public jail by the high priest and his associates. The Lord sent an angel to release them from jail and he instructed them:

“Go into the temple courts and tell the people the full message of this new life.” (v. 20).

When the high priest found out what they were doing he had them brought before him and the Sanhedrin and he said to them:

We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name, yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.  – v.28

What was Peter’s reply?  Did he ask for forgiveness, shut his mouth and not speak, say the apostles would no longer do this? No! His answer was as before:

We must obey God rather than men! – v.29

In verse 40 they were flogged for saying these things, but what did the apostle do? 

They went out rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace in the Name. – v.41

…They never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ. – v. 42

Can we do anything less? We may face persecution, ridicule, discrimination, and even be thrown in jail for preaching the full message of God, but we must remember that the apostles and early Christians faced similar things, but still continued. The more I study the Book of Acts, I’m beginning to understand exactly what those who professed Christ were up against, but still went out publicly proclaiming the word.  They were not just sitting in the seats and safety of a building, they were in the streets and market places proclaiming and demonstrating their faith.  I ask again, can we do anything less? 

Let’s be more like Peter and John and not back down. 

Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also ... – John 15:20