I don't remember much about my
grandmothers. Both of my biological
grandmothers died before I was born, my dad’s father died when I was 5 or 6, so
I only knew one grandparent, my mom’s dad, and I always missed not knowing or
having a relationship with my other grandparents. When I married and had children
of my own, allowing my children to develop a relationship with their grandparents became very
important to me. We moved a lot over the years due to Ricardo’s job and it
wasn’t always convenient to visit with the grands. We tried to visit or have
them visit us as often as we could, so my children could know and develop a relationship
with them. But I really didn’t understand the importance of having grandparents
in my children’s life until I became a grandmother myself.
Grandparents, real ones or adopted
ones, can have a tremendous mentoring role in the lives of their grandchildren.
"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life" (Proverbs 16:31).
The wisdom of life’s experiences is
a treasure that should be honored and valued and passed from one generation to
the next. Grandparents can be key in
teaching their grandchildren about life and all its pitfalls and joys, because they’ve
been there and experienced it.
"Let each generation tell its children of Your mighty acts" (Psalm 145:4)
In the first letter of Peter, he calls
all believers "living stones:"
As you come to him, the living Stone…you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ…a chosen people, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (I Peter 2:5,9).
Peter’s reference to living stones,
closely resembles the "standing stones" found in the ancient history
of God’s people. It is an expression that every Jew understood, but in this day
and age, the expression has lost its meaning. During the history of God’s
chosen people, when God led them through a difficult trial, war or time, they
placed a large stone as testimony to what God had done. These stones were not
just large rocks, they were massive pillars, standing 15 to 20 feet tall (some
have been found in archaeological digs to support this). Every time a Jew
passed by a certain rock, that rock told a story of something God had done for His
people. One example is in the story of Jericho in Joshua 4:9, 20-24. Another
remembrance set up to remind the Israelites what God had done can be found in
Joshua 22: 10–31.
As our society becomes more and
more mobile and fragmented by divorce, grandparents can become like those “standing
stones” of old by telling their grandchildren what God has done for them in
their own lives, thereby becoming the "living stones." We can tell
about those times and places of old where God did something wonderful for His
people, where we learned a great spiritual lesson or truth, how God helped us
through some trial in our life or just even tell them “The Greatest Story Ever
Told”. In this way, like in the history of
Israel, a spiritual heritage and understanding of who God is, is
passed from one generation to the next. It teaches the children that while the
world changes, what God does, and what God says, does not change. He is the
same "yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). This is the kind
of heritage I want to leave my children and grandchildren.
As grandparents we’ve done our
parenting. We did our best, made our mistakes and now watch as our children
raise their own families. In today's age, like any other, there are serious
difficulties in raising a godly family. We, as grandparents, have become the sideline
encourager and advice giver to our children. Parenting isn't an easy job, and
sometimes a "You're doing a great job" or "You handled that very well" and even a “this too will pass”, can do more to encourage a weary
parent to keep carrying on, rather than a criticism of what isn't going quite right. Our encouragement
can help them realize they are not failing and they are going through the same
trials and experiences all parents have through the generations.
We have a unique position in the lives
of our grandchildren. We are the loving/emotional family attachment without
being the disciplinarians or day to day caregivers. If we’ve developed a close relationship with
our grandchild, they should feel like they can come and talk to us about things
they may not want to go to their parents about.
We can listen and provide them with encouragement and godly advice that
may help them through a tough time or even help them to see why they need to
obey their parents.
The most essential thing we can do
for them is to pray. A concerned
grandparent will pray for both their children and grandchildren. They need to know
we are aware of what is going on in their lives. They need to know we care
about it, and we will take it before the throne of God and leave it there. The
knowledge that grandparents pray for the parents and the grandchildren is a tremendous
blessing. “Pray continually” (I The 5:17 NIV) for our family is something we
need to strive to do daily, not just when a crisis arises.
True Christianity flies in the face
of the values of the world. Seeking to raise children that value what God does
is one of the greatest challenges of our time. In a world that no longer sees
anything as absolute and believes that morals are according to "what is
right in each person's eyes," grandparents need to let their grandchildren
know that some struggles are common throughout each age.
We need to communicate that the commands
in God’s Word applied to them "back then" and also applies now.
Things like peer pressure, self-esteem, rebellion, sexual pressures,
temptations, lust and greed are the things that have embattled the human nature
since time began. A grandparent who understands this can council and
encourage both the parents and grandchildren to continue basing decisions on God’s
Word and not worldly views (which seems to change with each generation).
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 6: 5-9
This scripture is just as true
today as it was then. It’s not just for parents, but for us as grandparents as well. Let’s be “a living stone” to our
grandchildren.
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