How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

When my father died in 2005, we held a Memorial Service for him at the Maverick Boys & Girls Club in Amarillo, Texas. This was attended by many men and women who my dad had coached or mentored over the years he was affiliated with the Club.  A couple of the men told how dad impacted their life and the influence he had on them had helped them to make better choices in later years.  Last year, this same club, honored him with a Lifetime Achievement Award and once again men came up to us and told us how dad had impacted their life. He’s still being remembered by others, even though he’s been gone for 10 years.

In a way the Bible is a book of remembrances. It contains numerous stories of people and the way they lived their lives. Some are remembered for the good they did and some for the bad.  In Acts 9 we read the story of Tabitha. 

“At Joppa there was a certain disciple named Tabitha, which is translated Dorcas. This woman was full of good works and charitable deeds which she did.” (v.36) ...And all the widows stood by him weeping, showing the tunics and garments which Dorcas had made while she was with them (v.39).

By recording the miracle that Peter performed of bringing her back to life, Luke left a remembrance of Tabitha for all time. She will always be remembered for the good deeds she performed.

In Matt. 26: 6-13, the story is recorded of the woman who poured oil on Jesus’ head. Jesus said of her:

“Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her." (v.13).

No matter what else the woman did in her life, the one thing she will always be remembered for would be this act of kindness.
           

In I Kings we have the story of Jezebel, maybe the most notoriously evil woman of all time. There is nothing good recorded about her. Her defiance of the Lord led Elijah to prophesy that dogs would devour her body (I Kings 21:23). Even today her name carries an evil connotation. Who would name their child Jezebel?

           

The story of Potiphar’s wife’s seduction of Joseph is told in Genesis 39. No matter what else she did in her life, this is the one thing she is remembered for throughout the ages. This one act gives us an insight into her manner of life.

           

Now, imagine that you have died, and your family is talking about you. They’re telling someone who’s never met you what kind of life you’ve lived, what kind of person you were, the mark they think you’ve left on this world. What will they say? Will the things they’ll think were most important to you be what you think were most important? What they tell of your values and primary commitments be something you’d feel good about? Will the way they’ll remember you be the way you want to be remembered? Just what are your family and friends going to say about you?

Back in 1888, Alfred Nobel had the unusual experience of being able to at least partially find out while he was still alive. You know that name. What you may not know is that Nobel was, for most of his life, best known as the Swedish chemist who made a fortune developing explosives, and then selling his formulas to countries around the world so that they could be used in making weapons. One night his brother was killed in an accident. A newspaper got the story mixed up and, the next day, reported that it was Alfred who had died. From his published obituary, it was clear that the only way he was going to be remembered was as “the dynamite king”—the man who had amassed an incredible fortune by creating armaments for mass destruction. When Alfred Nobel read that obituary, he was shocked and saddened. Realizing that this was how he was going to be remembered, he resolved right then and there to do something to turn his life around and leave a different legacy. The ultimate result of that realization was the establishment of the annual prizes which bear his name, including the Nobel Peace Prize. These awards came about because one man became deeply dissatisfied with the direction, the focus, and the impact of his life. He decided to do something about that before it was too late.

           

Seriously consider the legacy you’re creating with the life you’re living. Are there any changes you would want to make? Would your priorities be any different? How about your goals? Would you want to modify your attitudes or your behavior? Would you change the way you invest your time and energy? Unless you think you’re already as good as you’re going to get, ask yourself those questions, and do it in light of Scripture. If one of your aspirations is to be remembered as a follower of Jesus Christ read Philippians 4:5-9.  

           

The majority of us not will have our names written in a book that will be read thousands of years from now, but the way we lived our lives will be remembered by our family and close friends for many years. 

Will you be remembered for the good you did or the bad? Will you be remembered for the “Christian” character you possessed?

...to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. - II Peter 1:5-7  

 Or the ungodliness in your life?

They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,  slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;  they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. – Romans 1:29-31

If you aren’t living the way you want to be remembered, change starting today and live the life you want to leave as a legacy for your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her – Proverbs 31:28

Spring – A New Birth

I love Spring. Spring is a time for renewing birth. The trees bud in an array of colorful blossoms and leaves, the tulips and daffodils display beautiful new petals reaching for the sun and its warmth. I love to sit outside and watch the birds flitting back and forth frantically looking for materials to make their nest for the hatchlings that will soon fill it. I know that if I were to go to a farm I would see new chicks, calves, lambs and ducklings dotting the landscape. The whole realm of nature seems to sing with the anticipation of new life.

 
Spring reminds me of the new life we have received from of our Lord. In Romans 6, we read of this new birth.

“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. (vs. 4).

When we were baptized in the likeness of Christ’s death, we put off the old man of sin and its follies, and rose to live a new life. A life free from our past sins (v.6), a life lived for Christ (v.11). We sometimes forget in our daily struggles the wonderful way we felt when we rose from that watery grave, a new creature, forgiven of our wrongs, and freed from the guilt of those wrongs. We came from that state of death, into new life just as nature comes to life after a dead winter.  We need to remind ourselves how it felt…that moment we were reborn. We need to “get excited” about it once more and sing with joy and thanksgiving that we have been given that chance to start over.

 “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin– because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.  Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. .” – Romans 6:6-8

Just as a seed must be buried before it can bring forth life, so must we do the same to the old man before we can be reborn as a new babe in Christ.

But it’s not just a rebirth from sin we should look for, but a rebirth of our mind.

“you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”. - Ephesians 4:22-24

When I read this passage I think of a bird that returns each year to build a nest in the same place. Does she use the same nest that she used last year? No, she cleans it out and brings fresh things to make a new nest. She wants to lay her eggs in a clean, fresh and unsoiled nest. That is the way we must be once we have become baptized into Christ. Our manner of living, the way we treat other people, the way we speak, even the way we think must be reborn in a spirit of newness. We are never to return to that old man. Will we stumble and sin along the way?  Yes we will, but like that mother bird that continues to refresh her nest when her hatchlings soil it, we have to return (repent) clean out that sin and start fresh once again.

So as you watch the unfolding wonders of Spring...remember Christ and the new life he has given you through his death.

The Role of Godly Grandparents

I don't remember much about my grandmothers.  Both of my biological grandmothers died before I was born, my dad’s father died when I was 5 or 6, so I only knew one grandparent, my mom’s dad, and I always missed not knowing or having a relationship with my other grandparents. When I married and had children of my own, allowing my children to develop a relationship with their grandparents became very important to me. We moved a lot over the years due to Ricardo’s job and it wasn’t always convenient to visit with the grands. We tried to visit or have them visit us as often as we could, so my children could know and develop a relationship with them. But I really didn’t understand the importance of having grandparents in my children’s life until I became a grandmother myself.

Grandparents, real ones or adopted ones, can have a tremendous mentoring role in the lives of their grandchildren.

 "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life" (Proverbs 16:31).

 The wisdom of life’s experiences is a treasure that should be honored and valued and passed from one generation to the next.  Grandparents can be key in teaching their grandchildren about life and all its pitfalls and joys, because they’ve been there and experienced it.

 "Let each generation tell its children of Your mighty acts" (Psalm 145:4)

 In the first letter of Peter, he calls all believers "living stones:"

 As you come to him, the living Stone…you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ…a chosen people, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (I Peter 2:5,9).

 Peter’s reference to living stones, closely resembles the "standing stones" found in the ancient history of God’s people. It is an expression that every Jew understood, but in this day and age, the expression has lost its meaning. During the history of God’s chosen people, when God led them through a difficult trial, war or time, they placed a large stone as testimony to what God had done. These stones were not just large rocks, they were massive pillars, standing 15 to 20 feet tall (some have been found in archaeological digs to support this). Every time a Jew passed by a certain rock, that rock told a story of something God had done for His people. One example is in the story of Jericho in Joshua 4:9, 20-24. Another remembrance set up to remind the Israelites what God had done can be found in Joshua 22: 10–31.

As our society becomes more and more mobile and fragmented by divorce, grandparents can become like those “standing stones” of old by telling their grandchildren what God has done for them in their own lives, thereby becoming the "living stones." We can tell about those times and places of old where God did something wonderful for His people, where we learned a great spiritual lesson or truth, how God helped us through some trial in our life or just even tell them “The Greatest Story Ever Told”.  In this way, like in the history of Israel, a spiritual heritage and understanding of who God is, is passed from one generation to the next. It teaches the children that while the world changes, what God does, and what God says, does not change. He is the same "yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). This is the kind of heritage I want to leave my children and grandchildren.

As grandparents we’ve done our parenting. We did our best, made our mistakes and now watch as our children raise their own families. In today's age, like any other, there are serious difficulties in raising a godly family. We, as grandparents, have become the sideline encourager and advice giver to our children. Parenting isn't an easy job, and sometimes a "You're doing a great job" or "You handled that very well" and even a “this too will pass”, can do more to encourage a weary parent to keep carrying on, rather than a criticism of what isn't going quite right. Our encouragement can help them realize they are not failing and they are going through the same trials and experiences all parents have through the generations.

We have a unique position in the lives of our grandchildren. We are the loving/emotional family attachment without being the disciplinarians or day to day caregivers.  If we’ve developed a close relationship with our grandchild, they should feel like they can come and talk to us about things they may not want to go to their parents about.  We can listen and provide them with encouragement and godly advice that may help them through a tough time or even help them to see why they need to obey their parents.

The most essential thing we can do for them is to pray. A concerned grandparent will pray for both their children and grandchildren. They need to know we are aware of what is going on in their lives. They need to know we care about it, and we will take it before the throne of God and leave it there. The knowledge that grandparents pray for the parents and the grandchildren is a tremendous blessing. “Pray continually” (I The 5:17 NIV) for our family is something we need to strive to do daily, not just when a crisis arises.

True Christianity flies in the face of the values of the world. Seeking to raise children that value what God does is one of the greatest challenges of our time. In a world that no longer sees anything as absolute and believes that morals are according to "what is right in each person's eyes," grandparents need to let their grandchildren know that some struggles are common throughout each age.

           

We need to communicate that the commands in God’s Word applied to them "back then" and also applies now. Things like peer pressure, self-esteem, rebellion, sexual pressures, temptations, lust and greed are the things that have embattled the human nature since time began. A grandparent who understands this can council and encourage both the parents and grandchildren to continue basing decisions on God’s Word and not worldly views (which seems to change with each generation).

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

This scripture is just as true today as it was then. It’s not just for parents, but for us as grandparents as well.  Let’s be “a living stone” to our grandchildren.

Note: I realize that there are grandparents raising their grandchildren and are fulfilling the parental role in their lives. If I’ve offended you in any way with this article, please know it was not intentional. Your situation is unique and you are fulfilling double duty in your grandchildren’s lives.  You deserve double honor for doing so. You are still a “living stone” in their lives.